Nothing… okay

I can’t decide if I want to say fuck you or apologize when I think about seeing you. I can’t tell if you’re the enemy or if I am. The intrusive thoughts of our year haunt me. Truly haunt is the best word to describe it. I’m inundated with reminders everywhere. I go. The worst one is music. Which really pisses me off because… Music! It’s my world. It was our world. Who the hell do I share music with now?

Why couldn’t we figure this out. It’s so close you know it’s so close! but maybe this is a not yet, a not quite, a not this one.

Damn.

Are the new meds softening the reality for you Or did you already find a new muse? Or or was it never that deep? I think the last one would be worst of all. Don’t tell me.

Trust whichever one it is, is filling your cup. And I Hope it’s not hard for you to come and that if I do pop into your mind you think of me lovingly, I’ll try and do the same. And one day, ONE DAY! take our story and all the scars and make something of it.

fueled by red wine in a cabin alone in the deep woods of Vermont in the fall. You should see me, I’m so cute up here